Norway: Subwoolfer complete a mission millions of years in the making05 May 2022 at 09:00 CEST
Arriving to us from as far afield as the Moon, Keith and Jim make up the duo Subwoolfer, who will be joined on stage by their musical mate DJ Astronaut. They come to the Contest with their song Give That Wolf A Banana, a tune that can have many meanings derived from it, but which is primarily based on the notion of using potassium-rich snacks as a form of protection for the elderly.
Having dwelled happily on the Moon for many millions of years, you might be wondering what has finally triggered Subwoolfer to embark upon the long journey to Earth. According to them, they’ve come to claim their rightful musical throne by performing at the most important and prestigious music event in the history of the world: the 2022 Eurovision Song Contest. But adapting their vocals to our climate hasn’t been the simplest of tasks for our galaxy-exploring guys.
We’re trying to do our best to conquer the world, musically at least. We’ve been the biggest band in the galaxy for millions of years. And now we’re gonna stay here on Earth for a few million years at least. It was really difficult to sing in the beginning, because in the atmosphere there is too much oxygen. But we’re good now.
What could possibly have taken them so long to come to the realisation that Earth is where it’s at, however? Well, they’ve actually tried to relocate here once before. And that didn’t go so well for them.
We’ve been around for so long and earth was simply not ready. When you guys had those dinosaurs here – that was not a friendly environment. They almost ate Keith!
With Eurovision on the cards for the wolves, and with them here to compete, winning must be something that has crossed their minds. And as fans of the Contest will know, every win comes with the task of hosting the following year. Have Subwoolfer had any thoughts on whether they would invite us to the Moon, or if they’d instead give Norway the opportunity to host once again?
Of course everyone is invited to the moon. We have a great venue there – it has a free bar. But if it’s not possible to get there, we will ask the earthlings in Norway to host it for us.
Once their Eurovision experience in Turin has come to an end, the wolves are going to have to consider what’s next for them, now that they’ve completed that all-important mission. Fans of Give That Wolf A Banana will no doubt be hoping for more music, while fans of Subwoolfer themselves will at the very least be wanting them to stick around on Earth for a while. Well, they have some good news for all of us on both fronts.
We’re gonna stay here for a while, for sure. It’s been pretty boring on the Moon these last few million years. And new music – absolutely. We’re so super excited about releasing our huge hits from other planets. At the moment they are inaudible to human ears, but we’re working on it…
With Subwoolfer being superstars on every planet imaginable, they’ve probably done their fair share of galactic galavanting down through the millions of years. Have they got any favourite destinations they would recommend to us earthlings?
It’s different on every planet, so you kind of need to visit all of them to make up your own mind. But really, we probably prefer Uranus.
In the immediate future, there’s one main topic on everyone’s mind. What’s underneath those masks? Are they ever coming off? Will Keith and Jim be revealing their faces in the event of a Eurovision win?
We’re not sure what masks you’re talking about….
If you’re intrigued to see Subwoolfer complete a mission that was millions of years in the making, you can watch them compete in the First Semi Final of the 2022 Eurovision Song Contest on Tuesday 10 May.